The Problem with "It Is What It Is"

The phrase "It is what it is" has become a common fixture in modern conversation, used as a response to everything from frustrating work situations to personal disappointments. At first glance, it seems to offer a shrugging acceptance of circumstances, a way of recognizing when things are beyond our control. However, beneath its surface simplicity, the phrase is problematic. At best, it’s a useless filler, offering no meaningful insight or solution. At worst, it’s a harmful mindset that promotes passivity and resignation in the face of adversity.

A Hollow Response

When someone says, "It is what it is," they are often attempting to close off further discussion. Rather than exploring the deeper issues or considering alternative actions, the phrase signals the end of a conversation. This makes it useless, as it fails to engage with the complexity of a situation or provide any helpful contribution.

For example, consider someone struggling with workplace discrimination. Saying "It is what it is" in response dismisses the legitimate pain or frustration they may be feeling. It offers no emotional support, no potential solutions, and no acknowledgment that change is possible or even worth striving for.

In this way, the phrase acts as a conversational dead end. It’s not constructive because it avoids critical thinking or problem-solving, effectively shutting down any chance for deeper understanding or positive action.

A Philosophy of Resignation

More concerning is the potential harm of this phrase when it’s adopted as a mindset. At its core, "It is what it is" implies an unchangeable reality, encouraging people to accept things as they are without questioning or challenging them. This can be especially damaging in situations where change is not only possible but necessary.

For instance, in social or political contexts, adopting "It is what it is" as a mantra can lead to dangerous levels of complacency. When faced with systemic inequality, environmental degradation, or economic injustice, dismissing these issues with this phrase reinforces the status quo. It suggests that problems are inevitable or too difficult to fix, promoting a sense of helplessness and discouraging efforts to improve the situation.

By encouraging passivity, this attitude can erode motivation for meaningful change, both personally and socially. People might remain in toxic relationships, abusive workplaces, or unjust systems simply because they believe "it is what it is" and therefore see no point in striving for something better.

The Appeal of Fatalism

Part of the reason "It is what it is" has gained so much traction is because of its emotional simplicity. Life can be overwhelming, full of uncertainty and chaos, and there is something comforting in the idea that some things are beyond our control. It absolves us of responsibility, allowing us to stop thinking about solutions or paths forward. This fatalistic mindset gives temporary relief, but at the cost of progress and personal growth.

This is not to say that everything in life can be changed or that there aren’t situations where acceptance is appropriate. But the blanket application of "It is what it is" is problematic because it becomes a default response to any difficulty, regardless of whether the situation truly warrants acceptance or active resistance.

The Power of Reframing

Rather than relying on "It is what it is," it’s more productive to engage with situations actively. Reframing challenges can foster resilience and a sense of agency. Instead of resigning to the status quo, we might ask, "What can I learn from this?" or "How can I respond differently?"

Even when a situation is genuinely outside of our control, there are ways to approach it constructively. For example, instead of resorting to passive acceptance, focusing on how we interpret or react to circumstances can give us a greater sense of empowerment. Shifting from resignation to active problem-solving or rethinking a situation can lead to personal growth and open up possibilities that the phrase "It is what it is" shuts down.

Simply Put

"It is what it is" may seem like a harmless phrase, but its underlying implications can be damaging. At its most benign, it’s a useless conversational placeholder. But at its worst, it promotes a fatalistic and passive approach to life, encouraging people to accept unacceptable situations rather than striving for change. Instead of settling for resignation, we can aim for engagement, curiosity, and a belief in the possibility of better outcomes—even in the face of difficulties. Life may not always be under our control, but how we respond to it should be a matter of thoughtful choice, not defaulting to "It is what it is."